Promises you keep become habits. Habits lead to achievements. The secret lies in your daily routine.
Originally published in Change Your Mind-Change Your Life
When I first left my job to pursue freelance writing, the first promise I made to myself was so minuscule, talking about it out loud seems so silly.
I promised myself that I would get out of bed each day and have coffee with my husband before he leaves for work. I drink it from a mug adorned with my new business logo, a gift from my biggest cheerleader, as a reminder that I have a “job” to do today.
Six months later, I’m proud to say that tiny kept promise is now a habit. The desire to simply show up for myself is the force that pulls me out of bed each day. It sets the tone for the day.
In reflecting on how this tiny promise became a habit, and how it has since led to more habit-forming promises, I’ve begun to imagine what the sum of a lot of tiny kept promises could mean. Achieving a goal seems daunting, but keeping a promise? Much easier.
Goals are hard. Promises are easy.
Along with changing my career, losing weight and getting fit are other things I want for myself. You might call these desires “goals,” caution me that they aren’t very specific, and advise me to drill down to the details.
OK. How about lose 10 lbs. in three months? Go to the gym three times a week? Have solid income from my writing pursuits within six months?
Yes, that’s more specific, but nope, that’s not going to cut it either.
The problem is not only that these still are not nearly specific enough, but they are goals. Goals are a far-away place where you hope to see yourself in the future. The road is often long and difficult and because of that, it can be hard to stay the course without sitting down and resting, sometimes for a long time.
Focus on your daily routine
For me, merely having goals doesn’t work, even when I’ve identified the tasks necessary to get me there.
“You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of success is found in your daily routine.”
Unknown
Now read that again. Your. Daily. Routine.
Or, if it suits you better, your weekly routine.
I’m trying to put the notion of weight loss and fitness out of my mind completely. It’s more like a big idea that I allow to float in the periphery of my mind. Instead, I’ve promised myself that I will show up at my gym ONCE a week. While it may sound as small and silly as my coffee commitment, it’s where I’m starting. It’s only once a week. I can do that. And when that habit is as ingrained as my morning coffee routine, well, that’s looking too far out, but I’m thinking that once it’s a firm habit, it could lead to TWO days a week.
As far as my career, I’m not thinking about having a new career as an in-demand freelance writer commanding huge fees. But I am going to FINISH this blog post by the end of today and put it out into the world and resist the urge to move my own deadline.
My tiny coffee promise didn’t seem silly anymore after I heard retired U.S. Navy Admiral William H. McRaven describe something similar in his address to the graduating class at the University of Texas at Austin in 2014. He talked about how during his basic Navy SEAL training, he was required to make his bed to perfection every morning. Making your bed became the first of 10 life lessons he bestowed upon the graduates that day.
“If you make your bed every morning, you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride. And it will encourage you to do another task, and another, and another.”
Retired U.S. Navy Admiral William H. McRaven
When I heard this excerpt from the admiral’s speech, I realized it was a slight variation on my promises commitment. “Make Your Bed” was so far from silly that it became the title of his bestselling book published in 2017.
My daily coffee promise didn’t start as an intentional means of inching me closer to my goals. Rather, the coffee habit was an accidental lesson that made me believe in the power of a million tiny promises.
Little things matter.
The first story I posted on Medium earned me seven cents. SEVEN. CENTS. Sounds silly, but just like my little morning coffee routine, this micro-success was enough for me to want to do it again. So I made a new promise for the following week. To post another story. Next week’s promise is to learn how to increase my audience. One task. One promise. It will surely lead to another one.
Be Your Own Accountability Buddy
No one has to know that you’ve not fulfilled a promise to yourself, and this is where it can all fall apart. If you suffer from “shiny object syndrome” like me, there is always a reason to delay your self-imposed deadlines. As a writer all my life, I thrive on deadlines. But when I’m the deadline maker, I am extending them ALL. THE. TIME. And getting in my own way.
I need an accountability buddy, but it has to be me. Keeping tiny promises feels achievable. Disappointing myself when I’m evaluating my week isn’t a good feeling. And that is a good motivator for the following week.
So I repeat my mantra: Promises lead to habits. Habits lead to fulfilled goals.
On Sunday evening, I write out the promises I intend to keep to myself in the coming week. You might call them tasks, I call them promises. When I’ve kept one, I write over the pencil in pen. Seeing all the penned in accomplishments makes me happy. If my pencil tasks are successfully rewritten in pen, and my calendar is an array of colorful checked boxes by the end of the week, I’ll allow myself some time to indulge in a hobby or learn something new, but I have to earn this time.
As I write this, it’s Sunday, and since I didn’t keep all of my promises, I’ve got catching up to do, simply because I want to keep all my promises to myself. They weren’t unreasonable. They were certainly achievable. So I must finish them.
If I can’t keep all of my promises to myself in a day, that’s okay, I will make it up to myself over the workweek. If I fail to keep a promise, I won’t beat myself up. That is the purpose of Monday. Otherwise known as START ANEW DAY.
Have a great week. May you keep all your promises and make yourself proud.
Erika Rose 